People commonly ask me the one thing that can significantly shift the quality of their communication with their children, and my answer is almost always Active Listening. If there were one thing that could complete change the scope of your communication with your children, this would be it! Not only that, but the more you practice active listening with the people in your life (not just your children) the more you'll notice a positive shift in your communication.

The most important, life-changing practice that completely changed my outlook on life is in learning the process of active listening. You see the greatest listeners in the world are the the greatest achievers.

Active listening can help other people solve their problems.
Active listening can reduce tension.
Active listening facilitates cooperation.
Active listening promotes communication.
Active listening can help you grow.
Active listening can win friends.
Active listening can deepen relationships.
Active listening develops an active mind.

Great, Active-Listeners have the following qualities:

They summarize what the other person says
They paraphrase in their own words what they thought was said.
They give the speaker their full attention
They create a positive atmosphere by being alert, using eye-contact, and being aware of their own nonverbal behavior.
They occupy the “I’m okay-- you’re okay” position
They have a spirit of cooperation.
They allow the speaker to bounce ideas and feelings off them.
They listen to the other person without being judgmental or critical.
They are aware of their “hot buttons” and “buzz words,” and they avoid over-reacting to them.
They dont give advice, but they make it easier for the person to solve his or her own problems.
They serve as a resource person, not a rescuer.